DEPRESSED

Jessica Tiew , still remember the first day we met ? . It was a miracle that when i first met you , I felt in love with you . It really is the best thing i ever had in my entire life . But now, i have lost it . I know you wont be reading this thing , but i just wanna write out my feelings to you . Who knows maybe the next day I am dead . MAYBE. 

Okay lets talk about how we got into each other .

Remember Lim kui trying to chase you ? wow , i was so shock that you find me to ask for help .  So actually it was just a trick that wanna couple with you at the first place . Who knows it will last till 1 year 5 months . So SHOCK . 

So i just say you only have two choices .
Number one tell him you don even like him 

Number two , Well here's the trick ... Find someone and fake couple with him :D 

So you were so panic and you just say you la . At the first i already know i got my chances in my hand 

So okay . we chat a few times during 2011... and poop , Its 2013 now . Damn two years have past . so fast ... 

So 1st of August 2011 . Well it was raj birthday , so i decide to make this a special day for me and you . So i decided to confess to you on that day :) Damn cant believe how happy i am that day . 

But , that year you were taking UPSR right ? , no worries although your result not so good , doesn't mean you have a bad future :) Hmm ... i still remember the 1st day we talk on phone it was on your birthday :) 22/10/2011 !! You told me , I am the first person in your entire life to tell you happy birthday at 12a.m. , You cried right ? you said you were so touch . So i said if you wan , i can tell you or celebrate your birthday for the rest of your life . But i dont think its gonna happen already .  I don blame you for leaving me , because i ask for it right ? So don feel bad , you should be happy :) nobody will gonna scold you if you sleep late or chatting with boys till so late or going out dint tell him :) WOW , we have so much memories , still remember that time we first hang out ? I think it was in McD right ? :) old already cant memorize much things ... and i think I wait for your kiss for nearly 8 months ? friends are all telling me , why dont you do your things and all . Just I think , Is really kiss in the relationship is important , Then they told me ... its fun . Time flew so fast , time doesn't wait for people . Damn , I have a admit , I am a pervert , then i am so scare to share those things with you . But then , I am so glad that i have such a understanding girlfriend like you <3 You dint denied talking those things with me , But the other way round , you start talking it with me . GOD DAMN IT . How to find such a nice girl like you . LOL , Still remember one night we were so into cute puppies , And i help you named your dog too "BINGO" , but i think that name is a history from now on . Remember on 1st August 2012 ? Celebrated our 1 year anniversary at the beach :D Just some plans are really failed .. LOL 

Nothing i can lie to you , every time i play game or do something else sure she know . DAMN , like she has a brain of mine :P There is just so much memories . 

Although i said sorry ,there's no use , cause sorry cant change anything . Sorry is just a word that know that yourself has done wrong and you regret doing it and its just for people to feel better . Forgive , Is a word that u really don care so much what they've done wrong . Forget . Is a word that doesn't give a fuck on everything . 

Here , I give you the reason why I wanna broke up with you . Before the day we broke up , my brother I went to friend house to play until so late .. nearly 12 or 1 a.m. . And , the day we broke up , My dad has called me and say so many dirty things and bullshits . My brother handle all of it , And this time is not my mom who giving me lesson , Is my brother , I felt so useless ... given my brother to teach ? And keep telling me not to give up studying and all , Yea , Its seems like i am not qualifications to love you . So I decided this time i am doing all shits job , so that you could hate me , forget me ... and just leave me like a stranger never met . I remember i ask you what if i am the one who wanted to break up , and you say ... you will leave me alone and cooldown for some days . And try to chase me back . If i ignore you , you have no chances lo . 

I tell you right here , i once really gave you all my love . But I think in your mind say , you never felt my love .... I gave u all my love once . I really did . I ever felt you love .

I am sorry if i always scold you and all . i am sorry , Forget about it la .

Last time i will be calling you this . Dear <3 

see you next time ....